Shut Up and Dance

Isn't it crazy how in one year things can change so fast? I read my last post a year after publishing it and realized that I completely forgot about my entire blogging idea...but what stuck out at me the most wasn't my lack of follow through with that goal but how excited and happy I was to have my job. If you asked me right now why I like my job or even IF I like my job I would probably have to make something up just so I don't sound like a cold hearted snake. Because RIGHT NOW, my job STINKS! Now, don't get me wrong...I LOVE what I do...however the entire aspect of the job needs major improvement.

Yesterday was my one year anniversary in my position and all I could think about was how I so not wanted to be at work. What started as a new adventure where I was jazzed to save the world one person at a time, had a thirst for changing lives and waking up excited to go to work has now led to me needing 3 cups of coffee just to survive my morning and a pep talk on my way just to get me out of my car. Not to mention another pep talk later in the afternoon to tell the big guy just how messed up the situation is or a pep talk to tell myself to keep the words to myself and just keep moving on (see where the title "Shut Up And Dance" comes in? Thanks Steven Tyler). Oh and did I mention the venting to my fiance over a glass of wine from a box when I get home from work every night?

To give a little background information on what makes me so irritated....
I began this job as the Children's Case Manager at a local homeless shelter for Women and Children last year, making $11.00 an hour, a HUGE drop from my previous jobs in Chico. For a year I gave my heart and soul to this place. I have always stepped up when something needs to be done, taken the initiative, acted like a manager when asked to, given honest feedback about myself and the job to my managers and directors, accepted criticism, made positive changes, supported our two businesses, volunteered at events, volunteered to get my Class B drivers license, all while making at least $3 an hour less than the other Case Managers... only to be replaced by a nonpaid intern. This means that my job position is now being terminated and to try to scare me out of applying for unemployment, my employers have offered me another job which they view is "comparable." Not to look down upon any of my co-workers and friends who have the job I have been offered, but this job is not for a person who is 27, has a bachelor's degree, has loads of experience in case management, behavior therapy, mental health issues, developmental disabilties, etc. This job is to watch children in the childcare room. This job is what I did working while in high school and college, during the summer, in between internships and classes, etc before I had a college degree. This offer is an insult after what I have done for this company but my employer is trying to scare me into accepting this job position after I told him I don't want it because 1) they need my Class B license and 2) they're trying to tell me that by not accepting this new offer I would be quitting and therefor not be approved for unemployment. Insert frustrated scream here.

Just curious, but has this happened to anyone else? Regarding the unemployment issue, of course I'd rather work in this position so that I can be paid, but if unemployment is going to give me benefits because my position was terminated, I'd much rather take that than work one  more day at this place.

Grin Again Gang

I originally had the idea to start this blog when I was jobless, unmotivated and depressed but I never got around to it because I was watching every episode of every tv show on the air. After sending in dozens of resumes to multiple companies and going on countless interviews with the most boring people on earth, I finally pushed through the depression and found a job. A GREAT job! One that makes me feel good about EVERYTHING! Now, I haven't actually started yet, but I am so stoked! On top of that, everything that I have been stressed out over, has turned out to be incredibly awesome. Curtis was accepted into the RN program, I got a job, and we are moving from Chico to Sacramento in a matter of days!

I am now about to "grin again gang" (reference to an old camp song), pick myself up and move on. It wasn't easy. In fact, sometimes it was just easier to lay on the couch and watch tv then realize that no companies responded to your resume. And it was even worse when I opened what I call the "rejection mail" which is the companies way of saying "thanks but no thanks". But with the help of friends, family and faith, everything has turned out for the better.

Cheers to grinning again!