1-6 | Carpe Diem

It had been weeks since my interview with the gallery, weeks since I painted, weeks since I shaved.  I was feeling less than artistic or motivated. I didn’t want to live if this was living. I had literally lost everything. Sure, I had enough money left to survive for a little while and I could probably still sell my paintings to the consignment shop but it was a blow to hear that my paintings, pieces of me weren’t good enough for that gallery. Maybe I was just being too sensitive, after all City Hall commissioned me for ten of my paintings. It was just a huge hit to my ego. I didn’t even want my art in a gallery, I wanted to own my own gallery; something I could leave to my kids. I wanted kids. I wanted a legacy. I wanted more than just being content. It all boiled down to me not being happy. I wasn’t happy. I had nothing really and this was the time for me to have it all. This was my time to live. I decided to make a change starting now. First thing I needed to do was shower, shave and head out to buy some Summer clothes then, I needed to return Ainsley’s many phone calls.



Throughout my weeks in hiding, Ainsley constantly called and left messages of concern. She came by every evening and rang the doorbell and when I didn’t answer, she would call out that she left dinner at the door. Each day I came to look forward to her visit and her meal. Some evenings she would spend a few minutes telling me of her day through the closed door and other days she would ring the bell, call out what she was leaving and just leave. Either way, I cherished these moments.

It was in those moments that I decided to ask Ainsley out. After my behavior though, I wasn’t expecting a positive response. But something in the way she diligently came by silently spoke that she understood.  I was hoping she understood anyways. I had nothing to lose. I picked up the phone and dialed her number, she answered on the first ring. I cleared my throat and began my lengthy apology that I had practiced in front of the mirror earlier but she cut me off, saying she understood that I was a brooding artist. I admit, that got a laugh out of me. I invited her over for dinner to repay her for all the meals she brought by. She was literally the reason I didn’t starve to death. Ainsley agreed and I was a little surprised. I had a feeling she was full of surprises. We agreed to seven o’clock dinner and I hung up and started tidying up the house and making sure I had all the ingredients I would need for dinner.

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Ainsley arrived right on time and I greeted her with a hug and flowers. She was beautiful and I knew without a doubt I was smitten with her.

“These are beautiful, Olaf.” She inhaled the fragrance of the roses. “I already forgave you for being a jerk, but it is nice to be given flowers and dinner.”  She smiled a radiant smile and my heart did a little flip.

“They don’t compare to your beauty, nor does this simple dinner compare to the extravagant meal you deserve. But, I am thankful that you humble me with your presence after the way I behaved.”

She blushed. “Why Olaf Oddison, are you flirting with me?”

“I’m trying.”

“I’m enjoying it.“ She took a seat on the sofa.

It was my turn to blush. The room filled with silence and I started towards the kitchen. “Would you like a glass of wine?”

“I would love one. So you didn’t get the job at the gallery?”

I uncorked the bottle of red wine and poured two generous glasses. “No. My paintings didn’t mesh with their idea of art.”

She reached for the glass I offered and took a sip. “What will you do now?”

“I’m not sure. I really would like to open my own gallery and perhaps later add art classes or sculpture. I want something to leave my kids and grandkids.”

Ainsley gave a soft smile and leaned back against the sofa. “So what’s stopping you?”

“Nothing now. I plan to look into it even though I am not sure I have any real idea of what I am doing. I just know I want to stop making excuses and live my life, my way. I have all these dreams and I don’t want to waste any more time making them come true. Will you go out with me?”

She sat forward and placed her wine glass on the table: her eyes sparkled in the dim lighting of my living room and a smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. “You really don’t waste time, do you, Olaf? I haven’t even had dinner yet, and here you are asking me out on a proper date.”

I stood from the arm of the chair where I was perched. “You’re right, I am sorry, Ainsley. Please forgive my forwardness.”

Ainsley laughed. “Olaf, you are never going to get anywhere if you give up so easily every time someone questions your reasoning. I would love to go out with you. I was only teasing you.”

“Good because I really like you, Ainsley.” I took a swig out of my glass and went into the kitchen to start the spaghetti.

While I cooked we drank wine and talked about everything under the sun; our hopes, dreams, fears, and childhoods. I fixed our plates and grabbed another bottle of wine. We continued our conversation easily as we ate. Afterwards, Ainsley did the dishes even thought I insisted she didn’t need to, while I cleaned up the counters and stored the leftovers. We stood out on the patio and watched as the rain fell, it was a romantic evening and I was glad Ainsley cared enough not to let me push her away. I don’t know if it was the wine of my heart, but I could really see a future with her. The house, kids,  the whole nine yards.

“Would tomorrow be too soon for that date?” I asked as I reached out and tucked a loose curl behind her ear.

“Tomorrow would be perfect.”